Looking at the front door

The decisions that often make the most sense usually are the hardest ones to act on

I just can’t take it anymore

The you act when I open myself to you, how you treat me like I’ve done something wrong all the time, constant second guessing it’s too much for me

You need counseling babe and I can’t do it

I wish I could help you but you don’t want that do you?

You would rather fight with me and then ask why we can never have a good day all the way through

Onslaught of verbal bullets and after being shot so many times I have to fire back

Then the sensitive part of you kicks…..telling me I don’t know how to talk to people

When you should examine yourself

Even when I’m in the right I still apologize just so you can play the role of the victor

Yet still quarrelsome with me…why?  Could it be that you know you’re wrong but it’s easier to direct your ire at me

Well I’m done and it doesn’t hurt me to say that at all

I can no longer be your punching bag

© 2011

All Rights Reserved

Femme Fatale

There’s a girl out there

I’m about to tell you about

Names will be withheld to protect

I’ve known her for a few years now so allow me to reflect

Mom and dad passed on

She’s up in age now…..grown, so you can’t re-raise her

Education was the main focus of my effort

Just wanted her to see how she wasn’t meeting her potential

I gave her my heart told her it was hers and gave me hers in return…..as a rental

The girl is cold hearted…only time she is warm is when she wants to hurt you

Rage overtakes her….then back to sweet

Turning things around on you to make you feel like  you’re wrong

She plays the game like a veteran….or hall of fame

However just one look in her eyes and it makes you want to do it all over again

Soul snatcher…...Heart hoarder

This is her

© 2011

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Jody

What is it….that makes you go from screaming words of hate, calling me everything but a child of God

To you screaming my name calling me the same names but in a moaning manner

How we go at it like warring countries……then make a peace treaty with our bodies intertwined

You throw things at me; after we get done you know that you gotta clean back up right?

As you look at me with the look of pleasure and say

“Yes daddy”

“What you want for dinner tonight baby?”

This is a total one 180

From how you were talking to me

Can’t really remember what you said

The mind is instead jammed with mental imagines of what we just did

I can still taste you

Watching you cook I’m tempted to run in and take it from you

Though I know how you feel about me doing that when you slaving over the oven

“Boy we ain’t gonna eat if you keep this up”

The fighting is worth it if this is the pay off I get…think I’ll Stay around

© 2011

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Better Leave Well Enough Alone

Here we are once again….you and I

Me fighting myself from falling back into your lovers trap

And you trying to draw me back in ….But for what?

Every time I fall for it always ends in me landing face first on concrete

So I hide my feelings, resort to acting discreet

I’m a weak man when it comes to you

So I choose to distance myself

You strip me naked of my dignity and self wealth….bad for my mental health

I go crazy when I’m with you and feel like I’m trapped in a psyche ward when we’re apart

You continue to hurt me and my heart breaks

Promising once I rebuild it there will be no room for you, but you know how to put your hooks in me

Can’t leave you alone

Am I addicted to the pain?

Or do I like reading books where I know the ending so I won’t be surprised again?

I gotta go…must get away from Cleopatra’s spell

Loving you is heaven and hell

© 2011

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Look In The Sky

Earth is temporary…just a rest stop until we head to our final destination to be with the Lord
Though we wish we could still see our loved ones and talk to them one last time
So much left unsaid
We never know when it’s going to end, having a sense of being invincible, mortality is not something we choose to think about during the day
Like paying taxes you know it will happen….doesn’t mean you have to like it though
Then you have those that wish for death
Whether it be for them to escape the pain of everyday life or the downfall of ones we loathe
Silly if you ask me
We all have to live on this ball of dirt so why not get along?
Peace is great or maybe I’m just saying that because I know that my true home is in the sky
 
© 2011
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Water & Flame

I think about how you’re gone and surprisingly I feel great about it

Maybe it’s because of the prospect of what my future holds or the fact that I just don’t have to deal with you anymore

Used to waking up with thoughts of you on my mind…now every time I think of you I get vomit up all the lies you feed me

Why do I always open myself up to the wrong ones

Yet hire extra security for my hurt when it comes to the women that only mean me nothing but good

They ask me what happened to us

Normally I like to keep the dirty details to myself

But when you come into play, I go on a tirade

About how my love for was once easy to see but now fade

To a dark area which leaves me afraid

To love again, finding the one used to be a high priority till I decided to degrade

Facts need to be faced

And issues addressed

We’re not good for each other, let’s just go our separate ways no need for the stress



© 2011

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Superman (A Love Story)

It's a well known fact that Superman has never been any good against magic
And love has magic in it
Fighting it off, why would I want my heart to be exposed to pain again?
Lois Lane......


Love is terrifying
Cupid's arrow frightens me more than a bullet made of kyrptonite
Puncture my heart....let me love
Remove all fear and doubt


Cold feet of mine warmed by the goddess of my heart
This world is starving for love...only if they knew you their appetite would be fulfilled

(C) 2011
All Rights Reserved

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Strangers

If ever you see me again don't bother speaking....its better that way
Looks like a gloomy forecast
I hear the music playing, goodbye is the saddest song of them all
We love hard and fight harder
Rise and fall of loving you
Life without love isn't life
But I'd be a fool to stay for this treatment
Better if we continue not to speak....Strangers

(C) 2011

Published with Blogger-droid v1.6.7

RUN!!

All the mouth you had now we’re in the bed and you just


Run

From it, no use in trying to get away….I’m not the type that gives up

Faced with a challenge and I plan to dominate all night long

To the point where you gotta call off work tomorrow to recover

To the point where every time you reminisce about tonight the flood gates open and you have to mop up the lake at your feet

Fabric from the sheets balled up in your hand, arms extended….the pleasure is too much for her

Run

As I apply more pressure, get in her ear tell her not to

Run

Won’t do you any good….take it all

The walls tighten

The screams are a high pitch

She’s exhausted too tired to

Run

Just laying there letting it happen

Left leg begins to shake…..shortly followed by the right

Eyes roll in the back of her head

Back arched

The levee has broken

Drowning in a sea of you now



© 2011

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Best Friend (Khalil's Poem)

These past few years have been a blast with you
I can honestly say you’ve made my life better…made me be a better man by your presence
The bond we share is rare
Especially when you look like we do, sad but true
I remember when we first met
That summers evening
It was like a story….after 9 months I finally got to see you
Amazing…….I played a part in bringing you here
From that day I knew I had someone who would see me through
It crazy to me how you’ve taken on my best traits and improved on them
You’re probably too young to remember how we would fall asleep sitting up
Me you holding you in my arms and you laying on my chest
Just thinking about it brings tears to my eyes
Makes me glad that I was around for that and more
But more than anything I’m proud to have you as my son.
 
© 2011
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Inner Me

Two sides to every story
Heads or tails will land face up once the coin is flipped
We're elated at the beginning,only to be devastated in the end
I must be honest.....should this be the last time my pen caresses the paper know.....this is where I made my stand
Anxious for what I feel is coming....finger nails digging into my palms, blood flowing from my clinched hands
The dark past cast shadows over the sun that is my future
I still stand
Vultures circling me, awaiting my carcass
I see the face of my killer and it is me....
I still stand
His weapon is sharp....reflexes super speed
I still stand
Only to watch my opponent fall face first
As long as I stand on my promise to become a better man
My past can't hurt me

(c) 2011
All Rights Reserved

Published with Blogger-droid v1.6.7

Safety Net

I promise you this


I will always be there for you no matter what

Even though we aren’t together like we used to be…all you have to do is reach out

I still love you though I can never open my mouth to say those words to you

Given the fact that we shame to have silently agreed to never speak of our time together again

I look into your eyes, you’re everything I want in a woman…..why do you have to be with him and not me?

It’s not fair but then again life wasn’t meant to be

I had you right in the grasp of my hands

Ready to take the leap of faith because of what we shared

Only for me to drive you back into his arms

Silly me

Foolish of myself thinking we can rekindle the flame when it has long since died

Harmless flirting now, showering you with compliments until you’re up to your eyeballs with them

Attempting to gage your reaction…hoping for a glimmer of hope that you feel the same way as I do

But you don’t and I can’t say I blame you

Just know that I am standing with you even if you can’t see me

Your silent partner in life…..my true love



© 2011

All Rights Reserved

Shower Scene

You sent me a text saying the door would be unlocked and you’re getting in the shower


Next thing you know I’m twisting the door knob

Coming in the house, sex music playing out of the stereo…..steam floating above my head

A bright idea comes to mind…putting a sly smile on my face

Disrobe

Incense burning, sweet smell going with your soap

Pull the curtain back….I enter

It’s like a switch was flicked the way we are all over each other like we’re wearing one another’s skin

Turn you around rub on your back, kissing your neck

Your breast rubbing on the wall

“I’m ready for you” is what you say to me

When my thunder down under meets your hurricane we create the sexiest disaster ever known

Penetration

Your hands bang the wall

Scream in ecstasy “YOU THE KING BABY!”

Legs spreading more

Plunging deeper inside

World class swimmer

Hot, wet and lust

Let’s dry off baby and get in the bed



© 2011

All Rights Reserved

I'm Through

Love takes us to great highs….and devastating lows
It has the ability to make you feel like royalty, then turn around and have you playing the part of the court jester
You can be the hero and the villain
The doors of the heart are almost impossible to open, and all too easy to close
It defies all logic and overrides you sense of common things
Can put a big smile on your face and have you snapping at friends and loved ones also
Make you feel on top of the world…then stressed from the weight of it on your shoulders
Keeps you up long nights…some with passion, others with laughter and sorrow sprinkled in for good measure
I feel like the game of love is rigged when it comes to me
I am Charlie Brown
Love is Lucy constantly pulling the football when I am about to kick it
Cupid points and laughs at me
Instead of shooting arrows to help me find the one
Which I’m sure at this point no longer exist
Love….I’m through chasing after you
 
© 2011
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Black Dirt

Oh how far we’ve come, yet still have so much more road ahead of us until we reach the finish line
Overcoming, struggling, discrimination…..are not things of the past and are far from over
Slaves, servants, not fit to even occupy your space
The funny looks walking into a nice restaurant, being followed around stores expecting for us to steal
We’re always cocky and not just sure of ourselves
If someone that looked just like you exhibited the same traits would you say the same thing?
I didn’t think so
It’s all a big game of who can be the biggest hypocrite
You quote bible scriptures and tell me how I’m an abomination on man kind
And I say you’re disgrace to everything Christ stood for
My God is a good of love
That knows no hate
You say you come in the in the name of him, burning crosses in my ancestors yards
You tell me I need Jesus but I talk to Him every day
Now who influences your actions?
 
© 2011
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Rain

I often use the rain to wash away the pain
Walking out into the eye of the storm and scream, helps me stay sane
At least that way no one can see me cry
Water pellets are covering up the tears
This way there will be no evidence left
Need some alone time…just to think
Thoughts of you and I always seem to this to me
How we used to have so much fun, I never wanted those times to end
But the past is gone
Unfortunately we can’t have it back
My dear friend I miss you
Hate that you left me hear alone on this earth
That’s just me being selfish
You’re in a better place now
No suffering, no hate with our father and others
Doesn’t stop me from missing you
I’ll get through though
Until then I’ll let the rain mask my emotions
 
© 2011
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In The Morning

Open my eyes music blaring out of my cell phone


Mary Mary singing about Yesterday as I get ready for today

Read my daily scripture

Then I’m out of the bed….time to get ready for the grind

Brush teeth, wash face, take vitamins with an oversized glass of water to quench the overnight dry mouth, hit my morning exercise

All through that…..you’re on my mind

Thoughts of you smoothering the brain……wow

Never thought I would have it this bad

But I do

I think about you In The Morning and all through the day



© 2011

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Generations

I named you…was there when you was brought into the world


My baby boy, daddy’s pride and joy

I’m watching you grow into your own man

More independent everyday

Yet still not ashamed to admit you need help

Amazing…you figured out that doesn’t mean you’re weak while I’m still trying to coup with it

I hope you understand why I try so hard with you

Even though your mom and I aren’t together I vow to never put you through what my father did

Speaking of “Wolf” I haven’t talked to him in a while

Over these past few years a lot of things have been brought to the light

How besides the parenting aspect you and I are pretty much the same

Guess that’s why over civil conversations usually turn into a fight

I don’t hate you senior…..Just want you to realize that your junior is grown

I’m a man with a little man of my own

They say I didn’t name Khalil after us because of resentment….And I did

But for me

I can’t rightfully call you a failure since I don’t know all you had to deal with

Myself however…..I’ve been front row for the entire show

Not impressed at all

Felt like this was me giving my son a chance to not be a colossus failure like me

I’m damn near thirty…a seasoned veteran still making rookie mistakes

People tell me how far along I am but I can’t see it

I look in the mirror and see a broken man

Too smart for my own good…..never wanting to deviate from my master plan

My hope is this generational curse is broken the future must be better than the past or present



© 2011

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Shackles

Freedom…..has a way of changing your view on things


Rose colored glasses pitched to the side

Contacts help you see sharper

You never cared for me

And I was too stuck on stupid…wanting to change you……so you could have the same love for me that I had for you

Lacking of understanding that you would rather suffer than be happy

Live in chaos rather than be peaceful

Can’t blame you totally

I shared in this…allowed you to do it to me and made you feel like it was ok due to me staying

Blood is on both our hands



© 2011

All Rights Reserved

Moonlight Sonnet

I consider myself a day person


But I am more at home in the Moonlight

As night falls the world seems to worsen

The glow makes me want to take flight



Laying in the bed staring at the ceiling fan

Thinking about my day

Then further contemplating my entire life span

Life is hard candy wrapped in a soft wrapper…has to be this way



I pray

Lord please grant me a peaceful slumber

I believe in you even though the devil will try to sway

Even when tempted by him I showed cumber



Eyes shut as I lay down my head

My home is in the sky and a cloud is my bed



© 2011

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Thrill is Gone

I used to always be welcomed in your heart….but now I feel like I’ve over stayed my welcome



When I look at you


It’s not the same….once was love now when I’m with you the sensation I feel is similar to pain


Why do we still continue to be in love?


We don’t have any kids together


I didn’t put a ring on it


Like it and love it


But can’t stand to be with it


Love knows no logic…..but the fact of the matter is we don’t click well


My circle block never was a fit for you square hole


I’m leaving and by leaving…..I mean right now


Walking out the door never will return


I leave what we were here in this house


Farewell love






© 2011


All Rights Reserved

Tears of The World

The world is a horrible place at times.......hard to believe things have gotten this way


Wars being waged

How can this be?

My child is growing up

And all I can think of is....what horrors lay ahead of him

I wish I could go back to the good ole days

But then again we used to look back on yesterday and call that

Hard times

Hell in a hand basket

Leaving home to serve and protect

Only to come back in a casket

They protest at your burial

I wish sometimes the apocalypse would just be brought on.......I can't bare to see this world we live in get any worse



(c) 2011

All Rights Reserved

Friend Zone

I often wonder how you see me


Thinking about if we…could actually be a we

Of if our paths are destined to be separate

I see you in a great light

Hold you high regard….swoon just from the thought of you

You got my heart

Though I will never tell you this in person…..the thought of ruining what we have keeps me up nights on end

We connect on a level that is incredible

Can’t wait to talk to you in the morning

And when you call me any number of pet names it takes me on a high

Maybe me and you will come together….should the star align

However for the here and now….Friends will be just fine



© 2011

All Rights Reserved

Cry For Help

Surrounded


But alone

No one......Understands me

Going through major changes in my life

Caution to the wind

Free fall

Spiraling down the drain

Negative thoughts......Detrimental........To my psyche

Yelling

With no words

Tears have turned to blood

From the stress

Struggles of life

Not just a man

But human

All I want is my heavy heart lightened

Help me

I don’t know if I can make it through the day



© 2011

All Rights Reserved

You, him and me

The truth I spoke to you


Was often met with lies

Covering up the past

You said that you severed the ties…..

Love has a way of putting a spell over your eyes….

And it has made fools of much great than I

I didn’t realize

You had yielded my side in our bed

To another

Till I came home

Pulled back the covers….

Just like something disgusting you would find under an untouched stone…..

Mortified at that sight

But I always knew it in the back of my mind….

Hell a blind man could’ve seen this coming

Two wrongs don’t make a right

Baby how do you sleep at night?......

I wonder at times

“SNAP OUT OF IT MAN!!.....She ain’t thinking one moment about you…..So live your life”

Is what my conscience says

Every time I think about it all

I see red

Wanting to launch my fist into the nearest object….

Pieces of the wall now in my hand…..as I sit and reflect

On how we really had no business being together

Houses made of card often crumble…..due to the lack of a supportive base…..just the mere uttering of you world and venom is all I can taste

I hope you’re happy

You finally beat me

Hope he helps you fight off the graveyard in your closet

Skeletons surrounding

It’s all out in the open

I have nothing left to give you but this lonely coin

Let’s see what thirty-one pieces of silver will get you……Judas



© 2011

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