Welcome to heartbreak

Feels like I’m waking up from a bad dream

Everything is tangible…..just because I can see doesn’t mean things are what they seem

The ground under me is shaky

This isn’t reality

My heart isn’t there

Just red pieces of paper lumped together

I no longer know what it’s like to feel

Been living in suspended animation for years now

Can’t remember the last time I loved

When you tell me the affection you have for me…I may need my prescription adjusted because even with my glasses on I can see

What makes you different from the others

The ones that used me

Financially, emotionally, mentally and even once physically abused me

So you can keep tell me that but it goes in one ear and out the other….

You can’t be real

I don’t care about what you want from me

Your needs are none of my concern

I’ve given enough of myself  and still have yet to gain the love of another

So from this point on I only take

Thief in the night

Give me your heart

I’ll do with it what I please and air mail it back to you once I’m done toying with it

Turnabout’s fair play

Don’t tell me I’m not being fair when you haven’t done anything to cultivate this relationship

The sweet flowers of passion bare no petals and stems have slumped over, falling out of the vase

Reminisce of what was

I think of you

And my blood pressure lowers

The rage has subsided

I see you standing on the balcony

Your hair flowing in the night wind

Moonlight complimenting your skin

Frown turns into a smile

An embrace follows

Clinching you so tight I may cut up circulation

Lifting you up in the air spinning you around celebrating how I found the lover that started it all

So happy…to be with you again…a second chance to do things the right way…how they should’ve went the first time

So I toss you over the rail and watch you plummet to the busy intersection

Splat!!  Hello and goodbye

HEARTBREAK

© 2011

All Rights Reserved

Pretty Brown Eyes

I remember it like it was yesterday

Staring into them

The everlasting tunnel of love, how no matter how much a knock down drag out fight we just had once our eyes connected I was putty in your hands

Am I mistaken for thinking that after all the wrong I’ve done that there is still a spark there for me?

Delusions of grandeur that you will one day forgive me and will still be my wife

Those other girls aren’t you

Being friends is fine and we still have that spark there that makes me believe that the fireplace that housed our love can once again be stocked with logs and burn for eternity

Everything I ever wanted in a woman

I ran you off not once but twice

Third time’s the charm but you will never come back to me for fear I will do your heart further harm

Those other girls don’t stand a chance when put up against you

Afraid to tell you how I feel

Never been afraid of rejection but if you would tell me to give up on the fairy tale that is us I would be crushed…emotionally flattened……love tramped on

Tried them and had to learn the hard way there is no one like you

So this is me saying I will never set free the thought of “us” even though there is currently not an “us” I know that you and I were meant to be and one day I will stare into your Pretty Brown Eyes at the alter.

© 2011

All Rights Reserved

When I'm Gone

A couple blocks over last night….life was taken

Shots fired and bullets sending everyone but the actual targets to their final resting place

The bitter reality that life is precious and tomorrow isn’t promised

Words that I never got to tell you

Feelings forever left in limbo

Questions unanswered

My son without a father

Mom losing her only child

I know we can’t control how we go

Not possible for a man to know the date he will die

Though things are etched in stone

Take heed as this may be the final time you hear from me

The footprints that my lyrics leave in your mind, as the impression from the soles touch your soul

Tired of this life where it only matters what a person wears and who they claim to know or how hard they act

The BET lifestyle is like a needle that constantly pumps ignorance into our youth

While keeping some of the adults sedated and desensitized to tools of coons

I only 27 yet I feel light years ahead of my time

Every time I speak of overcoming and a new age revolution I get dirty looks from one of mine

The old folks may finally have it right this time….this generation is the worst

At least when I was coming up we had common sense…..may not have always exercised it but it was there

Values instilled by our parents

I’m only one man and I am already preoccupied raising my young man so I can’t raise others while you hit the clubs and stand out on the block

Spending time with your children and teaching them the ways so they can grow to have a better life than you that’s what it’s all about

I pray for you world…..but I can no longer let you weigh my heart down

You’ll miss me when I’m gone

© 2011

All Rights Reserved

No Longer Needed Here

Knowing that eventually things will end

Is sad but it makes for great tales of caution when paper meets pen

The stress on this heart of mine became too much to bare

Arguing over everything from the way I was dressed to how I answered the phone

Remember how you used to always say I spoke in a robotic tone?

If this is what relationships are supposed to be well I’m good with dying alone

See clear now though my chest is bloody…..however the waters have become less muddy

Heart excavated from my person and for the first time I speak to you without fear

“You either want to be in a relationship with yourself or someone else……either way it’s not me you want”

Realization that………I’m No Longer Needed Here

                               

© 2011

All Rights Reserved

Contact High

This must be what being high is like
Me personally I don’t partake in blowing the trees
Whenever you come around my heart rate does a spike
You’re a queen I want to bow down in your presence
Look up to you while I am on my knees 

I feel like I am reliving the past
I am back in high school
I now know what I want so I will make sure you are the last
Back in the day I would’ve still acted like a fool 

You’re the burst of warm air
As I walk into the house during the winter
You’re the summer breeze
That can cool off my at times hot temper 
Do you believe in destiny?
Because that is what I think about when it comes to you and me

No instead of you and me let’s change that to we
Take my hand and walk into the sun
Forever stay with me

Makings Of A Man

Spirit
Determination
Drive
Will
Knowledge
Maturity
And of course
Ego
Coming of age
Still trying to avoid traps
Extract venom from my blood
So that I can finally live my life
I want to walk worthy
That is a hike
That's hard
But right
My essence
My very being
The makings of this man
Welcome to the Ideologikal mind

Make It Like It Was

You're my Gina
Keeping me from going crazy like Martin
A teenage love like Zach and Kelly
When I see you its like the 1st time
I get butterflies in my belly

I want to live my wonder years with you
I'm Kevin Arnold racing down the hall
Trying to catch my dream girl Winnie Cooper

I don't want us to be friends
Like Ross and Rachel
A non traditional couple

Like Kermit and Miss Piggy
Though I wonder how do you still see me?

I don't want to domesticate you
Like Ricky did Lucy
I know you're independent
Working and taking care of home
Let's raise a family like Cliff and Claire Huxtable

I'd rather be broke
Living in the projects
Like Florida and James Evans
The good times out weigh the bad times

Mad about you
Like Paul was about Jamie
Make it like it was
So we can live our happy days
Like Howard and Marion