Untouched Stones

Been learned when you hold them up to high, it just makes the drop worse

Heard stories about how curiosity killed the cat, to bad for that inquisitive feline

Never did I have to go searching for the acme anvil, it always dropped on my head from out of the blue

Not a depressing individual but I know people will lie to protect themselves

Shielding those dark secrets

What you don’t know can’t hurt you

Questions posed

Just because answers are given doesn’t mean I have to ignore the stench of fecal matter lingering

I see you

I refuse to let this happen to me again!

I will not give me heart up to someone just for them to hurt me

Love is a battlefield

So as we hover above earth on the war world I am doing everything I can to preserve life

Ducking, dodging….tucked rolls with my heart firmly clinched in my hands

I blow the air lock; I would rather die to sacrifice my love again on someone that is unworthy

Found what I was looking for

But it doesn’t matter

Not like I am going to leave

I’m a graduate of the Bobby Womack School of heartbreak

I’m in love and I’m hung up

Can’t help it

I love her and she seemly loves me, or maybe she is just the best actress I’ve ever met

Getting to the point that I think about her stepping out on me even when we hit the mattress

Gotta smh at myself

While she is probably lol’n at me when my back is turned

I’m not perfect but I’m worth it……I thought you were perfect until past sins surfaced….

My heart is crying tears that refuse to reach my eyes

Conditioned myself a long time ago to embrace the fact that relationships are full of shit

Though I continue to take chances I’m not as reckless as I was before

Psychologically I am battered and bruised….just look my sores have developed sores

Illusions of what we could’ve been

Delusions of grander of a life I will never know

I am not cut for the cloth that can sustain healthy interactions with others past a pre determined amount of time

I thought I had finally gotten past this

….actually meant it when I told people I was doing fine

That turned out to be a lie

© 2013

Steve Logan

Years of Tears (Hurt)

For as long as I remember I've hated myself
Even as a child, through my adolescent years and even into adulthood
The new found love I have is still not enough to keep the demons at bay
The depression seemingly comes out of no where
I want to break the face of the man in the mirror
I've worn a mask for years, it's called a smile
Even trained my eyes and contoured my face to keep up the lie
Now it's harder
Lord I'm so tired
I cry every time I get a private moment
I know life will get better eventually.....I don't think it can get any worse
Botched suicide attempts
Addiction to self destruction
Maybe the drugs will take me

Silently screaming

Help

Or just listen to me
Don't call me crazy when I tell you that my mental health is deteriorating

I'm broken inside
I fear my wounds have been open too long and are far too severe to be repaired

Tomorrow will be a replay of the same and I will place my armor on and keep fighting my demons......waiting for the trumpet to sound......the Calvary has arrived

(C) Steve Logan
2013