Someone Like You

Chemistry with is still marvelous

Even though you’re no someone else wife

I want you to know that I plan on adoring you for life

Just when I think I am ready to move on thoughts of you

Come out the blue

Epiphany

I presume I should give up on it all

Can’t even find someone that is worthy of being mentioned in the same sentence as you

Fallen victim to my inability to forget

I remember the way it felt as our lips touched

How the moments of our passion shared left me distorted for days after

How it felt to know that I had finally lost you

What am I to do now?

Live this life single-handedly

Not fair to marry someone knowing they are second best

Or perhaps I could…..maybe….someday find someone like you

© 2011

All Rights Reserved

Black Book

Reads like a novel

Tails of my past

I even made notes by certain names

Speaking of names never used the real ones just in case someone stumbled upon my hidden treasure

Cute aliases that remind me of them

Leaving the outside none the wiser

Every now and then I get a little lonely

Instead of trying to find someone new

I prefer to just stick with the tried and true

Just because we didn’t make it as a couple doesn’t mean we can’t continue to be lovers

No hiding the fact

Our bodies are so in tune with each other

We have great chemistry

See you and I want to rip all your clothes off immediately

Inhibitions out the window

As you spread eagle I am maneuvering inside you

Vocal exercises by you now

Doing a crescendo

I can’t deny

No reason for me to lie

I still want you as my woman

The way you used to make me feel high

But I will take this

Only time we don’t argue is when we’re getting into things

Even if it isn’t mine to the outside world

You and I both know how only we can make each other feel

© 2011

All Rights Reserved

Finger Pointing

Go ahead cast all the blame on me

I can take it, I can handle the weight

Never been a man that had a problem admitting fault

But I refuse to take the blame for everything

You should be ashamed of yourself for trying to drag me down instead of cleaning out the skeletons in your own closet

Done with caring enough to get angry

Used to be livid with things you would do

Not anymore, reached a point where nothing else is left to say  but goodbye

How would you feel if I tore you down at every turn

Just because I was having a bad day

Hurting the one that only wants to be there for you

Can’t you see I love you girl

I’m not here for my health

Done with arguing it’s becoming tiresome

Quarreling with no resolution and my life it doesn’t improve it

Not anymore,  reached a point where nothing else is left to say  but goodbye

We’re opposing factions at war

When North Korea crossed the demilitarized zone into South Korea arms are drawn

Neither side willing to call a truce

No longer backing down for the common good

Now I fire on sight

You need some counseling babe

This isn’t the way you’re supposed to show love

Stop making me pay for mistakes that I haven’t made

I understand you’re damaged and all I want to do is heal those wounds

Ease the pain

Guess my good intentions are in vain

Done with you, I must move on

There is no longer an us

Not anymore, reached a point where nothing else is left to say but goodbye

© 2011

All Rights Reserved

Mjolnir

I wield power with this hammer I was blessed with

I can make your head spin...have you thinking about me when I am miles away

Bring down rain......pour

Have you doing thing you've never done...saying things you've never said

Soon as we step foot in the house….make our way to the bed

Let me go deeper…..read your mind….readjust your spine

Using endearing terms to describe you like:  dazzling, angelic, ravishing, marvelous….you’re not just the everyday run of the mill fine

May I enter your temple?

I wouldn’t ask if I wasn’t sure I was coming right

I am free of disease, come with only one intention and that’s to please

Bestowing magical properties on you

Don’t ever let this moment end

Press harder

Pleasant pressure

My instrument of love has you climaxing in rapid successions……damn is there anything left in you?

Telling me if I keep this up then you will marry me

Make me the happiest man on the planet

Baby don’t threaten me with a good time

Or should I say a blessed life

I just want to make sure you want this and it’s not just the sex making you act in a desired manner

The gates open, I am being pushed out by your love force

Can’t take it?

I told you time and time again not to run

Only makes me want you more

And in this case the prey won’t escape

Overloading you with my love

Plan on making you an addict

Get hooked on me, I will give you a high daily

© 2011

All Rights Reserved

Erase Me

Wipe all existence of me from your mind


No pictures, phone numbers, emails delete it all

Far as you’re concerned I was never born

Destined to never have been

Perhaps then you can live a happy life since I am the reason for all your pain

When you kept pointing the finger at me what did you gain?



Erase me from the banks in your memory

The account is overdrawn

Nothing else left for us to see

So I guess I’ll be gone



Those dates never happened

The pictures we took we self destruct at the sound of the beep

Sweet messages never came through due to failure in technology

Distended to never have been

Perhaps then you can live a happy life since I am the reason for all your pain

When you kept pointing the finger at me what did you gain?



Erase me from the banks in your memory

The account is overdrawn

Nothing else left for us to see

So I guess I’ll be gone

(C) 2011
All Rights Reserved

My Life

Are you ready to understand my world, take a walk through the life I live


Get to know me a little better?

See the constant failures masked with humor while I am crying on the inside

The flashes of brilliant success and what I could be, cloaked by my refusal to accept my destiny

Hiding behind the image I project upon to the outside world

Maybe I’m afraid to let the world see me

Stripped down to the core

Exposed to the world as a whole

Flaws and all

Out of the abyss I crawl

Back topside

Hopefully a new beginning will be about a new life for me

More confidence

A smile that is no longer forced

A head that is finally held high

Thoughts that are more uplifting and positive

Done with negative thinking

Not over cocky but I now know my worth

And you’re not adding to my life I take it as your draining it

People pulled me down for so long I’ve shrunk a couple inches in height

Perhaps my fault

Perhaps I took on others problems and ignored my own

Perhaps I’m just lost and living delusions of grandeur

All I know is this is me now

You must deal with it





You can never fully know me

Because at times I feel that I don’t really know myself

The problems are mine and mind alone to be concerned with

So don’t you worry about them just enjoy your life and I’ll figure out mine

Puppy Love

You broke me


Made me incapable of loving another

My 1st love

Also my greatest failure

Pulling back from other women

That love me too much

Because I don’t want them to hurt me like you

Chasing after women that do me wrong

Treat me bad and have no interest in me

Because they remind me of you

I wonder why I have this jaded view of love

Can’t seem to decipher the good ones from the bad

Then I remember you

The that should be the furthest from my mind

Is always on it

Occupying unpaid real estate

Cupid and that arrow

Intimidate

Me

You were my angel

But when you halo was broken

By the horn perturbing from your head

Sea of love I was swimming to shore

When a shark bit my leg

Fighting off the beast

But what’s the use of fighting

Either I will be eaten or drown

And I see you in a boat above

Watching me fight to come back above water

And you frown

My queen

The one I gave the crown

I always wondered why my relationships tend to fail

Because I haven’t let go of you

Well this is me finally throwing dirt on what we had

Letting it lay in the past

Almost a decade since it ended

No more rebound girls

No more worrying about if I’m moving on

Too fast

Last rites to the memory

That is us

Goodbye



© 2011
All Right Reserved

Blame Game

We just keep going round and round, taking turns hurting each other

Fear of anything else

The pain feels so good….well better than trying to start something new



Game of cat and mouse



I chase you then you get tired and we change positions then next thing you know we’re alone together forgetting all our problems

Only thing that matters is changing to the next position

That’s the only time we’re happy after all

Any other time we’re tearing each other down, picking out flaws



Let’s hit the self destruct on this relationship



If you really want to call it

We never spend time together

You say I don’t make an effort and I say whenever I try to get a word in, you treat me as if I’m bothering you



You can keep blaming me, all the troubles of the world are my fault

Doesn’t matter now..not to me anyway

Keep playing this game for fools and I’ll find someone that actually wants a good man



© 2011

All Rights Reserved

On This Day

Wedding bells, the smell of summer and the accelerated pulsing of my heart…as I arrive to the church


Today is the day, where we become one

After all this time

I take you as my wife and you take me as your husband

Through all the arguments, break ups and tears of hurt

I’ve always know you were the one for me….even though I didn’t often act on it

I am at my best when you are by my side

As we embark on the rest of our lives

The road won’t always be evenly paved and we will encounter rough surfaces that need to be patched

Keep this in the front of your mind

I love you

And til death do us part is something I take serious

Never leaving

My love for you is stronger than any metal forged by man

On this day

We go off into the sun and the remainder of our times will be bright



© 2011

All Rights Reserved

Space Bound

In this empty house I sit alone…..me and my thoughts…..crazy as they might be


Contemplating about ending it all

Kimber 1911 picked up, barrel placed in my mouth, anticipation from the suicide

Uvula blowing in the wind



Tell me why I shouldn’t blow my brains out

Leave fragments of my mind scattered across this room



After all I am dying anyway

Damn letting this disease suck my life force

Too strong for my own good

Never wanting a helping hand

How can they understand

What I am going through

The therapy will leave me weak and there is no way I can ever be the vulnerable



No not me



Not where the public can see



Pride will call me faster than what I am suffering from



Tears rain down my face, soon they will be covered by blood

If only I can just pull the trigger



(Do it)

No I can’t do this

(Do it)

But what about my family….my son, he won’t have a father

(Do it they are all better off without you, just let them take the insurance money….you’re better off dead)

Voices in my head aren’t doing much to help me



Chamber a round, tilt my head back

(This is it)

Hand shaking

(Steady it don’t punk out on me now)

I…….I can’t

(C’MON MAN!)

No I have too much to live for

I know I can beat this and not let it beat me

Praying for my health as I tackle this head on

What doesn’t kill me only makes me stronger

And if it should rot my body then when you bury me remember it is buried in that grave site and my soul is spotless



© 2011
All Rights Reserved

Battle of the heart

Inner turmoil, gut wrenching agony, emotions feel my chest cavity……no room left for my heart to beat


I can’t go on any longer loving you

It’s killing me and the process is expedited every time I see your face

This is a war I can no longer fight

The things that these eyes have seen, the blows it has taken…battered, bruised….the blood I bleed

Out of ammo, no coverage from the trees totally exposed in front of you…….stripped of camo

Has been a pleasure to serve in the crusade for love

Even as it appears I am dying today for what I believe in

At least I stood for something

So draw your firearm, as I bow down to my knees leaning forward so that the apex of my head meets the barrel

Arms spread to the side like wings

Hands stretched

Fingers pointed towards my next stop on this journey

Meant to be this way, it was written

I begin talking to my Lord….telling Him soon we will be side by side

Not a tear in my eye, because I know I fought the good fight and did it to the best of my God given abilities

You however did not as it all comes back to you like a bad memory

How I was always there for you and you left me high and dry so many times

Hurts doesn’t it? I know

But you can never kill me with your acts of violence

I was dead before I stepped onto the battlefield

Emotionally speaking

As I have become unhinged

Life isn’t worth living if you won’t accept my heart



© 2011

All Rights Reserved

Black in America

Just to further educate those who may not know on things that have been going in this world that aren't really getting the coverage they deserve I also invite you to take a look at stores for Frederick Jermaine Carter and Oscar Grant......I'm not saying we need to reorganize the black panthers but this is getting insane and we all need to stand up and say this isn't right


Freedom of speech apparently means you can spew racist comments and give subpar apologies for it….that’s if you give one at all


Fascist flunkies

So let me get this straight a few years ago when a “Good ole boy” was in the oval office if we spoke out we weren’t Americans, told to go back to from whence we came

I was born here just like you were Buford!

And I don’t like everything politicians do whether we share the same complexion or not

But I do know out and out bigotry when I see it

The blacked out pictures, the imposing of the faces of primates on the face of our president

Not gonna fly

We weren’t allowed to speak word one back then but fast forward to the present and it’s a totally different story

All the troubles of the world fall on the shoulders of this one man like this all wasn’t set into play 8….maybe even 12 years ago

Worse than the Apollo, America refuses to truly give a brother a chance

No this isn’t just another black man talking about how hard he has it, rather a fellow American just like you that has seen enough if someone doesn’t speak out against these atrocities then who will?

If you want the luster of this country restored we have to work together

We may not like each other and that’s fine but a level of respect must be established

Now are you willing to help or are you going to continue and complain about how things were better before?

© 2011

All Rights Reserved

I Wish

Father I’m grateful for everything let me lead off saying that, but I would like to know why you saw fit to take away my loved ones

I don’t feel that taught me everything they could

Or did you remove them from this plain to teach me a lesson?

Never take anyone for granted, say what you have to say today because tomorrow never comes for some

Pain in my heart

I talk to them in Heaven but not to be rude it’s not the same as being face to face or a simple phone conversation

Knowing they’re in your arms

Wishing they could still hold me when I needed it

A child in granny’s eyes

She never got to see the birth of my child

Show me the tools of the trade when caring for children

And I’m not the only one either

Mom misses you more than she will let on

The pain every holiday, once again realizing that she has to take on her role along with yours

The family ain’t the same

You held us together

Now I hardly go around

Can’t stand how they live and seem to forget the lessons you bestowed upon them, as if you were never here

Guess that’s how they coup with the loss

I just wish you never left us that winter morning…it’s been cold since without your guiding light warming me



© 2011
All Rights Reserved

Stuck

Perhaps it’s my fault for falling so deep for you


Going all in on the first hand…well you called my bluff didn’t you baby?

What else can I do?......I’ve done all I can

What else can I say?.....I’ve said far too much already

Words run together, beginning to sound like a broken record

Actions aren’t noticed for their good only amusement

Here it goes again

My chance to break

Shake off the voodoo…WON’T YOU LET ME FREE FROM YOUR SPELL?!



If I could I would remove you from my mind

Take a drill to my cerebellum so that I will no longer pay attention to the little things that set me on a passionate fire for you

Your smell

Smile

Voice

Brown eyes

How you walk

Reoccurring at this point you’re like the stray cat that I gave milk to once and now you always come back



Remove the fear of letting you go and moving on to unknown of what a new mate may bring



Still trying to prove myself and it’s not getting any easier

You have to work hard for anything worth having but damn, feels like no progress has been made

Take one step forward and you just uproot the path and move it ten miles away from me

I never asked to fall in love with you but that’s the way things shook out

Now are you going to extend your arm to rescue me or will this be my final resting place?

© 2011

All Rights Reserved

Somebody loves you

I know our time has passed, you and I are finished and a distant memory in your mind


You may have forgotten but I never did

The good times we shared

How I would anxiously sit by the phone hoping for a call, text or email

Now however I am just a pesky after thought that keeps popping back up

Did you even care? Never felt like the feeling was reciprocated

Not that I was looking for my feelings to be exactly mirrored…..duplicate

Just wishing you didn’t make loving you so difficult…..facilitate

Far from being the easiest person to deal with am I at least tired

Something I didn’t do with others before you, mistakes corrected, learned from the past life lessons reflected

But the one glaring deficiency in my travels has been not being able to get over you

Wish there was some kind of kill switch I could flick

Waking up thinking about you and how you could care less about me

I’m so sick of this shit

Deprived of vitamin L……..lack of love is slowly killing me

Even through it all I still remain faithful to you

When I get approached about potentially starting a new I just tell them how I’m waiting on the girl I love to come back….she just went away for a while but she’ll be back

As I sit on the dock of the bay

The manifestations of all my emotions come to a head and I still love you



© 2011

All Rights Reserved

Tears

Laying in the bed three o’clock in the morning, pillow saturated


Because of me

Affection abandoned, love lost, having hate……over what I did to you

Crying at the thought of the memory of us

Just when you think you've gotten over...... it seems like I pop back out like a mole

Grounded

Wings rendered useless

Gravity baring down now unable to regain footing

Feelings of when the one you love no longer loves you

Look at your face but you look way

I’m dead to you I suppose

Not even wanting to hear a word I have to say

I speak, you give me a dry “Hey” if that

The design of your hatred

The one you thought was the one

I turned out to be just like the others

Feelings are like a facet that you never fix, just keeps leaking…….never ending, impossible to turn off

Wishing it would rain but the sun is out and will show the rough night that you’ve had

All because of me…….I’m sorry for the pain and the hurt

I love you and even though it’s too late now I finally appreciate everything about you

© 2011

All Rights Reserved

Sounds of love pt.2

As the title says this is part two to this poem right here

Continuing from before, you're tapping out and being the bedroom bully I am I demand more!


Crawling out of the bed for escape, that's ok I'll just take you on the floor

Just put the head in then the shaft follows

Plunging in, swallowed whole

Injected with my love, better than any drug known, and its legal too.....so you can have all you can stand

Call me Thor what was calm water flowing is now a down pour, flash flood warning......gonna have to dry out the carpet later

Your legs shaking, entered repeatedly from behind, clitoral walls tighten, as I continue to barrel through the resistance

“You ok baby? “

Out of breath, mouth open but no words part

Just hands banging on the floor, feet kicking up and down

Grab your hair, come closer to me....I wanna tell you something

Kissing on the neck, then softly bit the ear lobe.....on to dirty talking to you

“Relax……Daddy got you”

“Don’t you run I know its intense but after so many times you’re get used to it”

Hours on end, staying strong never letting up on you

Addicted to you and I don’t want rehab

Night turns into day, stamina going strong………outlast

You just lay here baby I’ll go make you some breakfast

© 2011

All Rights Reserved

Nobody knows it but me

I keep thinking about things I will leave behind, the smiles I won’t be able to see, the faces that bring me so much joy only fading memories now


I look at myself wasting away

Everyone wondering what’s wrong I tell them I’m fine and everything is great



I’m lying



Terminal illness only a certain timetable for people like me to live

Doctors say it will take a miracle of modern medicine to save me



I will not be afraid



The prospect of death used to frighten me

Terrified of the thought that I won’t wake up one day

But now……



I know the Lord has me



My family and friends please forgive me for not telling you of my sickness, wasn’t my intention to deceive you I was only trying to spare you the worry about me

I am fine no need to worry, is what I tell them

As I lay here dying



And nobody knows it but me

(C) 2011
All Rights Reserved

Something's wrong

We’ve seen the news……everyday something new, natural disasters, bodies going to their final resting places

Education system failing out children, but the blame can’t go completely on teachers since it starts with home

Used to have to watch out for the police harassing me when I’m driving a nice car now though

Head on a swivel, looking out for people that look like me

Jealousy so they want to take my life to bring more material things to theirs

Why?........

NO BROTHER I WANT TO KNOW WHY?!

I have a family that will miss me if you take my life

Leave me here in this street, in a pool of blood wondering why we do what we do

Black on black violence, the new ethic cleansing

Willie Lynch was right after all we turn on each refusing to let the next one run the race we choose to trip him

Even if that means someone from the other side wins

(C) 2011

All Rights Reserved

Have you seen her?

Took a long time getting used to it


The fact that you’re gone and not coming back

Every time I get a text, email or call I hope it’s you, only to be disappointed to find out its not

And after the way things ended why would you ever talk to me again

Trying to find another you, slowly realizing that no one is your equal

God specially crafted you, he used the best clay possible

Void left unfilled

Should’ve appreciated you when you were here

Not I sleep in this cold bed

Keep waiting up thinking I’m smelling your cooking and go into the kitchen only to see unused pots and pans

Used to getting those good morning texts from you and good night phone calls

How even when we were into it you never used harsh words

Now no words

Hell I’d be honored if you just smiled at me when we crossed paths

There’s nothing out here in this world better than what we had and I want it back……only if could find you



© 2011

All Rights Reserved