My Life

As I take a look at my life I’m not sure what to make of it

Recent events have given me hope that the light at the end of the tunnel is not an oncoming train

For those who’ve thought that I was Superman there were wrong

Clark Kent has no hope of being faster than this locomotive

Battled addiction, depression and even fought God on the right path for my life

Crazy I know

But now I believe

I have peace of mind

Smiling bigger and brighter

Passed my trial by fire, I am battle tested but I know my days being at war for my soul are far from over

The devil keeps baiting the hook and there are times I honestly want to leap and grab the forbidden fruit

My life is not for the weak of heart

If you knew the thoughts that go through my mind

The things I’ve done behind closed doors, you may look at me different

Suicide is a lucid thought

Seeing myself swallow that bottle of pain killers

Envisioning myself hanging from the ceiling via a noose

I can still hear the click of the gun as it held it in my mouth with tears streaming down my face

The cocaine binges ensure that with each bump taken another year of my life is sacrificed

I was saved, put away to see another season

I was found on the bathroom floor and rushed to the hospital to have my stomach pumped

The beam which I hung myself from turned out to not be load bearing and I ended up on the floor

I lost at Russian roulette I thought but I really won in the game of life

And after a year of erratic behavior I finally got the help I needed in rehab

I am not perfect, nor do I clam to be

I refer to myself as a flawed individual created by an ideal being

My life has had it’s twist and turns

Moments where the audience stands up and clears

While also providing tear jerking scenes

I am sure some of the patrons have walked out on the show thinking they know how it will all end in tragedy

You would be wise to stay seated and pay close attention because soon the burst of light will become a solar flare that will fill the screen.

© S. Logan

2012