Blind Spot

Vision is blurry
One word to describe the current mood
Scary

I put pen to paper
So if this is
My final writing
I want you all to know
That I died like I lived
Fighting

A man standing alone
Facing the impending doom
I turn off my phone
So not to be disturbed
And somehow calls still got through
So I broke into pieces
Where’s the broom?

I know longer have
Ideological thoughts
I feel like a
Nomad

Issues with my father
I want him to answer for his sins
But it falls
On that man

Dreams of finally finding a wife
Rushing home after work
Eating dinner with the kids
Then its lights out and the door is closed

Our bodies kiss
As my heart feels like it will explode
From ecstasy
I never thought a woman
Outside of momma
Could bring out the best in me
I get up with the sun rise
Leaving her a note
Saying
“See you later”

Her favorite breakfast cooked
On a tray beside the bed
I grab her car keys
Go clean it up
Change the oil
Fill up the tank all
Before returning home

She hugs and kisses telling me I’m the best
In the back of my mind I wonder
What will she do next
To put me through a test

Back into the world again
I go visit the old guard
Wisdom in their words
They have forgotten more
Then I will ever know

My mom smiles
As she tells me
“You did good”
All I ever wanted was her approval

Khalil calls me
I tell him I love him
I’ll pick you up tomorrow from school son
Be looking for me

I think how on the way home
As street lights guide my path
I have lived a charmed life
And came a long way
Happiness found me
After I stopped pursing it

Shed light on the dark corners
Blind no more

© 2010 Steve Logan
All Rights Reserved

Contingency Plan

It doesn’t
Make me proud to write this
Knowing that you
Gave your all to me
While I was still holding back

The biggest hurdle
With love
Is believing
That once you fall
Someone
Will be there
To catch you

So I strung
You along
Loose ends hung

Saying I was in love with you
When I was still
Out playing like
I was single
Being a typical man
One girl to the next
Just want to mingle

Love is a chess board
And you showed me
Checkmate baby

Best laid plans
Go
To waste


© 2010 Steve Logan

Name Game

She tells me
I am her dream man
The perfect guy
I tell her I am
Just a mere mortal
Knowing in the back of my head
This will not last
Eyes racing back and fourth
As my attention can’t be held by one
I tell her I love her
Because I mean it
That’s why I will break this off
Suddenly
Not even leaving a “Dear Jane” letter
Its better this way
Rather than have her wait for other shoe to drop
I abandon her
I often say
I will be alone forever
Not by choice per say
But by stupidity
Subconsciously
I find a way to the nearest exit
My convoluted logic
Tells me its better
For her to hate me
Than for me to hurt her

© 2010
All Rights Reserved

Misunderstood

It will take time
To solve the rubix cube
That is me
Complex individual
Passionate
But willing to submit to reasonable logic
Arrogant
But humble
Standoffish loner of the night
Like Batman
But a beacon of shining hope
Ala Superman
Hero mixed with villain
Poet Monday – Saturday
Preacher on Sunday
Soul speaker by God’s gift
Myth destroyer by trade
Momma was more of a saint
Daddy a glorified sinner
Heart is always in the right place
But my mind gets me in and out of jams
A poetic rebel
Underground emcee chip on my shoulder
Size of a bolder used to be a pebble
Adding value to the shock
Master thief picked the lock
So you can never place in your box

© 2010
All Rights Reserved

Breaking Dawn

Sitting on this hill
I see the sun
Peek over the horizon
Another day
Another opportunity
To be great
To erase
I bathe in sun light
Solar rays
Empower me
Strength I need
To face a new beginning
It was
Well worth it
Traveling through
The night
Mark my words
On this day
I will reach new heights

© 2010 Steve Logan
All Rights Reserved

Closure

Hey you
I bet you thought
I was gone forever
Destined
To be a part of the past
The hate
And distain
You must feel for me
Brings me shame
But at some point
The time between
We hadn’t talked
Got to far
A loss for words
……
I am not ready for a woman
Like you
And I realize this now
If I am lucky
When I am ready
My lady will be a fraction of you
Don’t wait up
You deserve better

© 2010 Steve Logan
All Rights Reserved

Classified Information

I will die
With this
Secret
It may be obvious
To the world
But if I never admit
Their right
It’s just speculation
But how long
Can I do this?
They say if you can’t
Love the one you want
Love the one you’re with
The one I really love
Doesn’t know
A friend of mine
I am too shy to tell her
So I just pretend I only want the friendship
How long before she notices
I go to the other room
To talk to my
“Friend”
Feel like I am cheating
Though there has been no physical interaction
I would welcome it
And not think twice
Do I sacrifice a sure thing?
For the great unknown
Lose a friend
But what if I gain a wife?
Decisions
Decisions

© 2010 Steve Logan
All Rights Reserved