Friend Zone

I often wonder how you see me


Thinking about if we…could actually be a we

Of if our paths are destined to be separate

I see you in a great light

Hold you high regard….swoon just from the thought of you

You got my heart

Though I will never tell you this in person…..the thought of ruining what we have keeps me up nights on end

We connect on a level that is incredible

Can’t wait to talk to you in the morning

And when you call me any number of pet names it takes me on a high

Maybe me and you will come together….should the star align

However for the here and now….Friends will be just fine



© 2011

All Rights Reserved

Cry For Help

Surrounded


But alone

No one......Understands me

Going through major changes in my life

Caution to the wind

Free fall

Spiraling down the drain

Negative thoughts......Detrimental........To my psyche

Yelling

With no words

Tears have turned to blood

From the stress

Struggles of life

Not just a man

But human

All I want is my heavy heart lightened

Help me

I don’t know if I can make it through the day



© 2011

All Rights Reserved

You, him and me

The truth I spoke to you


Was often met with lies

Covering up the past

You said that you severed the ties…..

Love has a way of putting a spell over your eyes….

And it has made fools of much great than I

I didn’t realize

You had yielded my side in our bed

To another

Till I came home

Pulled back the covers….

Just like something disgusting you would find under an untouched stone…..

Mortified at that sight

But I always knew it in the back of my mind….

Hell a blind man could’ve seen this coming

Two wrongs don’t make a right

Baby how do you sleep at night?......

I wonder at times

“SNAP OUT OF IT MAN!!.....She ain’t thinking one moment about you…..So live your life”

Is what my conscience says

Every time I think about it all

I see red

Wanting to launch my fist into the nearest object….

Pieces of the wall now in my hand…..as I sit and reflect

On how we really had no business being together

Houses made of card often crumble…..due to the lack of a supportive base…..just the mere uttering of you world and venom is all I can taste

I hope you’re happy

You finally beat me

Hope he helps you fight off the graveyard in your closet

Skeletons surrounding

It’s all out in the open

I have nothing left to give you but this lonely coin

Let’s see what thirty-one pieces of silver will get you……Judas



© 2011

All Rights Reserved

Fogged Windows

You and I
Riding home
On a late night....
I reach my hand over
Caress your thigh.....
Run my fingers up your dress
I feel the goose bumps popping up....
One by one
Fingers making sexual motions
As I bring....
Thunder and rain
Slight
Subtle
Moans mentioning my name
Your hand graze the front of my pants.....
Anticipation.....
Suddenly...
You're gone
To anyone outside of these four doors of steel......
The wetness of your mouth
Makes me jerk the car
Extascy.....
Gotta keep it cool....
Don't want you to stop....
Driving slow now
Want to milk this as long as I can....
Pulling up in front of the house
I let the car run longer
But cut the lights....
You rise up
Kissing me on the next
Telling me you can't wait to get in the house.....instead you want it now
Back seat it is
Lifting up your dress
Excitement takes over....
Can't even remove your panties all the way
Before the plunge is taken....
Sea of love.....
Downpour....
Hands underneath your backside
The higher you raise off the seat....the deeper I dive
Biting me on my neck.....
Cursing me out
Feet kicking the seat
Perfect ending......to a perfect night

(C) 2011
All Rights Reserved

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Beautifully Human

I make many mistakes but I am not ashamed of my past nor do I run from it…


I am human and while that may not be an excuse for hurdles that I’ve tripped over I can say with each scar a valuable lesson was learned…..

And with each lesson learned as I look in the mirror flaws and all I love the reflection

The struggles

Emotionally maimed

Mentally down trotted

I still stand here

Facing an army of my demons

I battle…..

Alone…..

I will vanquish them all

They will not gain victory over me…

Warrior…..

King…

Survivor…..

Crafted by God Himself

Built in flaws…

But they in no way take away from the perfections

(C) 2011
All Rights Reserved

My Skin

You dislike me


Because my skin is a different shade than yours

Ignoring the fact

That I am still a human like you

Battle my own personal demons

Breathe the same air

When my shell is pierced

My blood is red

What gives you the right to call me “boy”?

“Monkey”

Tell me I am not worth to walk the same streets as you

No one that walks the earth with me is able to walk on water

You’re even afraid to get wet

Then you have the nerve to quote scriptures to me

But my God is love

All you preach is hate





© 2011

All Rights Reserved

She’s Gone

Too much pride to let you go

And be with another man

But not selfish enough

To have you stay somewhere you don’t want to be

Your eyes are glassed over

You’ve already checked out of this relationship



She’s Gone



No matter what I say

I am met with a

Nonchalant attitude

That’s if I’m acknowledged at all



She’s Gone



Why stay

If you have no intentions on trying to make it work

We sleep in the same bed

But no love is being made

I go to sleep a quarter till 9

She lays down half past midnight

Only because she thinks I’m asleep

I can hear her pray

That I will just give up on her



She’s Gone



Am I a fool?

For still wanting this

Driving down this dark road

30 miles over the speed limit

Knowing it’s a dead end

Her leaving me will feel just like a hit a brick wall full force

My heart shatters

When I think of how….



She’s Gone



No not my baby

This is my lady

I won’t give up

Without a fight

Tooth and nail

She will see

I for her

And she for me

Come home expecting

To see her

Romantic evening planned

I see a note laying on the dining room table

……

She finally did it

I slide against the wall

Down the floor

She’s

She’s….

She’s actually gone



If you are blessed enough to have someone in your life that makes you feel like royalty and gives you the same amount of love that you give them in return do anything to keep them in your life before its too late, love doesn’t give many 2nd chances. Peace



© 2011

All Rights Reserved

Grayson (The son of the bat)

Over the year's I've battled the feelings I've had for my father.  He left me and mom many years ago when I was barely potty trained but it still cuts deep like it was yesterday.  This is me coming to terms with it....I pray this helps someone going through the same thing.

Son of a man


Who was more in love with the night

And his personal affairs

Than to attend

To his son

I can’t begin to tell you

The years I spent hating you

Funny how we despise things

Then

Upon

Looking in the mirror

We see the face that draws so much anger out of you

We could’ve been the dynamic duo

But you left at night fall

Leaving Robin

To strike out on his own

And now you want to come back

Only to see

I have taken your mantle

Your little man

Is now a grown man

With a little man

Of my own

Being with him

Learning

Playing

Enjoying his company

Makes me think of what we could’ve been

Nevermore

The past is dead

And the future has yet so much life left

To breathe into our lives



© 2011

All Rights Reserved

Cookie Monster

Cunnlingist


Drowning in the sea

That is your love juices

I am not in search of a life boat

You’re my north star

I look to you

And I am aroused but it all

I want to get every cookie

Out of the jar

Down to the last crumb

Enticing you with my tongue

Making your toes curl

Nails dig into my back

Head spin

I climax

From making you climax

What started out as midnight snack

Has turned into a full on feast

Devour you

I am full

Of f the cookie



© 2011

All Rights Reserved

Infestation

Rotten to the core
But then again
You already knew that
When you first took the plunge in
Purity of another
Fallen victim
To your scorched earth mentality
How do you look yourself in the mirror?
Knowing that you’ve done this to many
Close and far
Think of the families you’ve hurt
In the name of what?!
Revenge???
Someone did it to you
So now
It’s your turn
In the seat of power
And just like a true coward
Instead of facing the bright light of the truth
You hide in the shadows
Out of sight
Out of mind right?
Am I hitting a nerve
I see you visually becoming upset
I smell you skin burning
From the clouds of your dark past parting
Sun is exposing you
For you are
A liar
Cheat
Backstabber
And plague upon the race
Not just African American
But the human race all together
Infector of aids
I have not the power to condemn you
I pray for your soul though
To remove Satan from it
 
© 2011
All Rights Reserved

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Belief

If he stands you up
I will drop everything to be with you
 
If he talks down to you
I will lift you up
 
If he hits you
I will caress you
Heal the bruises
 
If he treats you like trash
I will bow down to serve the queen
 
He doesn’t realize what he has
But I know you’re a great woman
And will show you each day I have breath in my body
 
He’s an idiot
But I am a genius in the study of you
 
Believe in a good man
We do still exist
 
© 2011
All Rights Reserved

Published with Blogger-droid v1.6.7

The Warm Up

In the air
I can smell spring
Excited to see the new growth of things.

Old Wounds

Old Wounds


Have been reopened

Can you nurse me back to health?

Depressed

Angry

Missing my other half

On a descending roller coaster

With a full stomach

Feeling sick

Makes my eyes water

Every time I think about it

Love is a battlefield

And I am in desperate need

Of some high end field dressings

I’m bleeding out

When the blood dries it spells you name?

But you

Turned out to be the same

As the other girls

Guess I need to invest in better armor for my heart

Or maybe I shouldn’t have given it to you from the start



© 2011

All Rights Reserved

The Crazy Poem

SNAPPED!!


Now there is nothing left

But the fallout

What will come

Of my actions of rage

I thought I could control my temper

Should’ve walked away

Over estimated my gage

Had one too many of her

Out of pocket comments

The finger pointing

Hypocrisy

Nothing wrong when you do it

But turn it around

I am treated like a criminal

Shoot at sunset

51/50

Tattooed on her back

But she claims she sane

And it’s just me

Breaking point reached

One of us has to go

As she baits me to hit her

Even striking me first

I raise my hands in defense to block the blows

She runs into the bathroom crying

Locked the door

Called the cops

Saying I beat her

And they took me away

Now in the present

Here I am

Sitting in jail

Waiting for bond

I need to stop attracting crazy



© 2011

All Rights Reserved

Dependency of We (Duet with PoetaChica)

First I want to thank my friend and a highly talented poet in her own right Beverly Rivera (Hey queen), I encourage you to follow her blog http://beverlyrivera.blogspot.com and now dear readers I give you

"Dependency of We"

A slow syringe dances in my vein

Euphoric contents unmeasurable in CC's and

needle pushing administration held in disdain.

You are my addiction.

My glazed eyes and pupils bright

Dilated and fixated on skin taught, which I must fight.

Remove

the sweet temptation I dare to kiss the nape of your neck

The ridges of muscular pathways to the happy trail and I lick

to make wet. Who can justify the slavery in which you

captivate me

Addiction knows knows my name

And I respond with undesirable boundaries

as you are my dependency-and



You are the definition

Of what love means

Paradise in my eyes

You make me forget about the others before you

You’re a state of honesty

While I was living in a city of lies

We exist in a bubble

Every time we’re together

Nothing bigger than this moment we share

As the world is crashing down

I am not worried I have you…honored to breathe in the same air



The oxygen in my nostrils flowing to my brain

Cells to the blood pumping, addiction calls me by my governmental my name

Clinging on to the mere capability of you

Knowing that even your possibilities hold an end, but my mind does not share

this clue. For hopelessly entangled in a web full of lies

I hold the psychological dependence on pleasure and enjoyment on my high

Scoring hallucinogenic kisses and inhalant embraces

Fixating on the compulsive desires of broken sleep and cold bedsheets

and I, stuck with numbness around me

No warmth in solitary high thread count covers

I call my name to an imaginary lover-

And I still crave you.



As I make broad strokes with my paint brush

Upon your canvas

Climaxes

Come in rapid successions

Hours turn into seconds

Undying

Long lasting

Two loving souls

Clashing

But not in a violent sense

Here we are

You and I

Past

Present

And future tense



While this slow syringe dances in my veins

Clearly the definition of me

Continuous cataclysmic craving of my addiction to you

Glazed eyes heavily

Wishing for one more hit

of us momentarily unified as one

momentously.

to simply be dependence free psychologically

and forever be released of

we.