Sunday

On this day
I stand
Before you
A new man
Free
Of the chains of my past
The Holy Spirit has come for me
At last
I ask
That you only
Judge me off of
What I do today

(c) Steve Logan 2010
All rights reserved

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The Zone

Can we coexist?
In a way
That is different
From what we hoped?

Is it even worth
Holding on to?

Going from lovers
To friends
Is not ideal
But it appears
Fate had other plans for us

The love I have for you is great

But I am not
“In love”
With you
Maybe one day
I will fall
As always
If I can’t help you
I swear I won’t
Stand in your way

© 2010 Steve Logan
All rights reserved

Life

Don't take it
For granted
Its not always
All its
Cracked
Up to be
With every day
A change
Is brought about

(c) Steve Logan
All Rights Reserved

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Thoughts

Suicide
Once was
My course of action
Not caring that
I would end up in hell for it
Or my loved ones
Reaction

But now
A new day has down
I stand in a different place
I wake up
Just to see the smile
On my son’s face

After years of searching for love
Has it finally found me?
From an unsuspecting person
The thought of her
Potentially crushing my heart in pieces
Makes me fear of love
Worsen

All money
Isn’t good money
But what if that money will help me
Help another?
I would give up all the riches of this world
Just to restore health
To my mother

© 2010 Steve Logan
All Rights Reserved

Blind Spot

Vision is blurry
One word to describe the current mood
Scary

I put pen to paper
So if this is
My final writing
I want you all to know
That I died like I lived
Fighting

A man standing alone
Facing the impending doom
I turn off my phone
So not to be disturbed
And somehow calls still got through
So I broke into pieces
Where’s the broom?

I know longer have
Ideological thoughts
I feel like a
Nomad

Issues with my father
I want him to answer for his sins
But it falls
On that man

Dreams of finally finding a wife
Rushing home after work
Eating dinner with the kids
Then its lights out and the door is closed

Our bodies kiss
As my heart feels like it will explode
From ecstasy
I never thought a woman
Outside of momma
Could bring out the best in me
I get up with the sun rise
Leaving her a note
Saying
“See you later”

Her favorite breakfast cooked
On a tray beside the bed
I grab her car keys
Go clean it up
Change the oil
Fill up the tank all
Before returning home

She hugs and kisses telling me I’m the best
In the back of my mind I wonder
What will she do next
To put me through a test

Back into the world again
I go visit the old guard
Wisdom in their words
They have forgotten more
Then I will ever know

My mom smiles
As she tells me
“You did good”
All I ever wanted was her approval

Khalil calls me
I tell him I love him
I’ll pick you up tomorrow from school son
Be looking for me

I think how on the way home
As street lights guide my path
I have lived a charmed life
And came a long way
Happiness found me
After I stopped pursing it

Shed light on the dark corners
Blind no more

© 2010 Steve Logan
All Rights Reserved

Contingency Plan

It doesn’t
Make me proud to write this
Knowing that you
Gave your all to me
While I was still holding back

The biggest hurdle
With love
Is believing
That once you fall
Someone
Will be there
To catch you

So I strung
You along
Loose ends hung

Saying I was in love with you
When I was still
Out playing like
I was single
Being a typical man
One girl to the next
Just want to mingle

Love is a chess board
And you showed me
Checkmate baby

Best laid plans
Go
To waste


© 2010 Steve Logan

Name Game

She tells me
I am her dream man
The perfect guy
I tell her I am
Just a mere mortal
Knowing in the back of my head
This will not last
Eyes racing back and fourth
As my attention can’t be held by one
I tell her I love her
Because I mean it
That’s why I will break this off
Suddenly
Not even leaving a “Dear Jane” letter
Its better this way
Rather than have her wait for other shoe to drop
I abandon her
I often say
I will be alone forever
Not by choice per say
But by stupidity
Subconsciously
I find a way to the nearest exit
My convoluted logic
Tells me its better
For her to hate me
Than for me to hurt her

© 2010
All Rights Reserved

Misunderstood

It will take time
To solve the rubix cube
That is me
Complex individual
Passionate
But willing to submit to reasonable logic
Arrogant
But humble
Standoffish loner of the night
Like Batman
But a beacon of shining hope
Ala Superman
Hero mixed with villain
Poet Monday – Saturday
Preacher on Sunday
Soul speaker by God’s gift
Myth destroyer by trade
Momma was more of a saint
Daddy a glorified sinner
Heart is always in the right place
But my mind gets me in and out of jams
A poetic rebel
Underground emcee chip on my shoulder
Size of a bolder used to be a pebble
Adding value to the shock
Master thief picked the lock
So you can never place in your box

© 2010
All Rights Reserved

Breaking Dawn

Sitting on this hill
I see the sun
Peek over the horizon
Another day
Another opportunity
To be great
To erase
I bathe in sun light
Solar rays
Empower me
Strength I need
To face a new beginning
It was
Well worth it
Traveling through
The night
Mark my words
On this day
I will reach new heights

© 2010 Steve Logan
All Rights Reserved

Closure

Hey you
I bet you thought
I was gone forever
Destined
To be a part of the past
The hate
And distain
You must feel for me
Brings me shame
But at some point
The time between
We hadn’t talked
Got to far
A loss for words
……
I am not ready for a woman
Like you
And I realize this now
If I am lucky
When I am ready
My lady will be a fraction of you
Don’t wait up
You deserve better

© 2010 Steve Logan
All Rights Reserved

Classified Information

I will die
With this
Secret
It may be obvious
To the world
But if I never admit
Their right
It’s just speculation
But how long
Can I do this?
They say if you can’t
Love the one you want
Love the one you’re with
The one I really love
Doesn’t know
A friend of mine
I am too shy to tell her
So I just pretend I only want the friendship
How long before she notices
I go to the other room
To talk to my
“Friend”
Feel like I am cheating
Though there has been no physical interaction
I would welcome it
And not think twice
Do I sacrifice a sure thing?
For the great unknown
Lose a friend
But what if I gain a wife?
Decisions
Decisions

© 2010 Steve Logan
All Rights Reserved

Levitate

I don’t consider
Myself
Stuck up
I just
Prefer
Not to participate
In the behind
The back
Chit
Chat
It’s easier to be positive
So I wonder why
Most focus on the negative
But there is good in this world
If you wipe off the dirt and debris
You will find gold hidden beneath


© 2010 Steve Logan
All Rights Reserved

My People

My People
We got to do better
Not just to keep up
With the Jones’
But do it for self
Aren’t you tired?
Of being a joke
Notice how
They
Only interview the one
That looks like they just
Rolled out of bed
And completely ignore
The one in the suit
That has knowledge floating
Around their head
Don’t tell me
That is how you were raised
Break the cycle
Aim higher
Evolve
Seems like we’re comfortable
Playing the monkey at the circus
And that isn’t disrespect to anyone specific
But if the shoe fits
Then you need to wear it
We need to change
To elevate
Only we
Can fix us

© 2010 Steve Logan
All Rights Reserved

Rainy Days

Rainfall
Sitting here looking out my window
I see water pellets crawl
I need my caffeine fix
Especially now
This weather was made for rest
But there is no rest for the weary
Hail hits the roof
As I take a sip of tea
To calm me
The glow from the computer screen
Is the only light I am willing
To have right now
Praying the power doesn’t go out
Nothing worse than being alone
In a blackout
The weather breaks
Only for the moment
To give way to more gloom
Rain
Rain
Go
Away

© 2010 Steve Logan
All Rights Reserved

Spirit over Body

My flesh
Yearns
For the soft comforting
Kiss of woman’s skin
Against mine
My spirit
Keeps me strong
Laying down
With just anyone
Would only serve a temporary want
That I have been lead to believe
I need
Ejaculation last for a matter of seconds
But what about
How I feel afterwards?
Knowing that I used her
How can I look myself in the mirror?
How do I face my God?
Knowing that I went back on a promise
That I need to him
The conclusion of this unholy
Union of bodies
Turns to be anticlimactic
Serves me right
After went about such
A lustful tactic
Wickedness
Forgive me
I keep the faith
Pray my past sinful nature
Will not override the holy ghost
This body is spoken for
My Father
Has promised it to my future wife

© 2010 Steve Logan
All Rights Reserved

What Does It All Mean?

I often
Find myself
Sitting alone
Pondering
What is this all about?
Life
How will it end?
Old age
Natural causes
Gun or knife
If I am killed at a crack house
Does that mean I was a user?
Maybe I was there
Ministering to lost souls
The dead
Are unable
To vocalize
But they still tell a story
I finally found Christ
At the age of twenty-five
If I don’t get to see twenty-six
Was it all for not?
My soul was saved
But finding God may have
Brought about the final chapter
In my book
Who knows?
Don’t everybody raise your hands at once
Just the thoughts of you narrator
Don’t mind me
I will just keep writing

© 2010 Steve Logan
All Rights Reserved

Living Dead

I am here
But not really
I walk amongst you
But can’t be seen
I live in this world
But I am not of it
What good is it
To be clean
On the outside
But the inside
Needs a power washer
To rid the dirt
The new me was born
So to make room
The old me has been laid
To rest
Renewed
Influenced by the holy ghost
While standing exposed
Showing the whole me
Here I am Lord
I surrender
It all to you

© 2010 Steve Logan
All rights reserved

Here Without You

They say
Putting someone
You love
In the ground
Is the hardest part
Once that’s done
Then the healing can start
I can’t help but
Replay
Them lowering
The casket
Into the ground
It isn’t fair
But is life ever?
The answer is simple
Never
So now I must
Adjust
To life without you
For you
Are in a better place
But I
I am still
Right here
As I keep you
In my heart

© 2010 Steve Logan
All rights reserved

Last Rites

Here we are
Paying respects
To the dead and gone

I miss you
…..

Think I can speak
For everyone else
When I say
That you lived a long life
Stories of your past
Could fill
Many books

The struggles
The defeats
The victories
The glory

Respect to you
Life will not be the same

Solace
In the fact
That you went peacefully

I can’t wait to see you again
Rest In Peace


© 2010 Steve Logan
All rights reserved

Momma's Boy

I can’t imagine
The world without you
You brought me
Into this world
Though
At times I wasn’t
The good son
It took a while
I finally grew up
Became a man
Realized everything
You ever told me
Was gospel
The only mother
I will ever have
And I couldn’t
Ask for a better one
I look back
On stupid
Childish
Things I did
And it brings
Tears to my eyes
Because I know
I made you cry
The over night shifts
Making sure you got home
Just in time
To make me breakfast
And wipe the sleep
Out of my eyes
You sacrificed so much
That’s why I buy gifts
On mother’s and father’s day
You raised me right
I love you mom

© 2010 Steve Logan
All rights reserved

Her

Are you real?
Pardon me
But I need to pinch myself
Feel you
To make sure you’re
Not a
Hologram

You don’t know
How long
I’ve
Dreamed of you

When you’re near
My eyes dance around
Looking for you
Animal instinct kicks in
I must have you

Longing to make
Eye contact
So I can lean in
And taste
Those juicy lips

Fireworks go off
Explosive
This chemical reaction
The yin to my yang
Come together with me

My missing piece

My angel


© 2010 Steve Logan
All rights reserved

Vanishing Point

Though you never
Physically departed
When I close my eyes
I can
See you walking away
Gone forever
Seems like wasted words
Saying that I love you
How can I honestly say that?
When you walked out the door
Telling me of
Days like this
I was too wrapped up
In my own world
To worry about you
Or anything for the matter
Feelings of love
And happiness when we started
I can’t help but feel like
Because of me
The unknown of our
Failed love
Will forever go
Uncharted
I am always here
If you ever need me
Though
You never will
…………
I had to write this
For you
Fallen love


©2010 Steve Logan – All rights reserved

Alan Keys

Look at you
New age Judas
Only your thirty pieces of silver
Was a seat at the table
Good ole boys club
House nigger
Does the air feel good?
Not having to slave away in the field?
Willie Lynch had the right idea
Turn us against each other
And will destroy each other
But you
I feel sorry for you
There is a special place
In hell reserved
For people
Like
You
Sellouts are no longer
Known as
Uncle Tom
We call them
Alan Keys


© 2010 Steve Logan
All rights reserved

Storm Clouds

The thunder roars
I look to the sky

As the rain covers my face
I imagine what it would be like to soar
I've tried to force my world of darkness into the light
Taken many loses from countless fights

A recovering addict
But will I ever fully be off the pills?
Destorying my life
When I should be making myself better for my future wife

Just think of my son
The shame he would feel
The world giving his father a raw deal
After this rain out the cracks in the concrete
New growth sprouts

(C)2010 Steve Logan
All rights reserved

Open Letter

I apologize
I failed you
I wasn’t the man
I presented myself to be
At the time we met
I lied to you
Played you for a fool

I wanted you
To fall in love
With me
And it worked

But at what cost?

I ended up alienating
Someone that
Could’ve been a great friend

But now…

Nothing
You don’t talk to me
No more than a brief
Shallow
“Hello”
When you pass me

You have no idea
The sorrow I feel
I miss you

But I can’t….

Bring myself to
Tell you this

I fear

What you might say to me
Sometimes
It’s best to
Leave
The powder keg alone

I wonder….

If one day
We can start again?
Take a eraser
To the past
Wipe the hard drive
Nothing exist

Will you?

Forgive me?


© 2010 Steve Logan
All rights reserved