Holiday Hangover

We pretend that everything is all well with our worlds for the final two weeks of the year….and even for the first day of the new one we are still able to keep up the façade

January 2^nd 2012…the return of my depression….back to black….the only light I see is that of the train headed full speed ahead down this tunnel….looking down the barrel of another gun

What else is new?

Don’t get me wrong I’m blessed to still be here

But…..I can’t help but feel like I’m missing out on something in this life….is it the love of a true soul mate?  The displeasure in not doing what makes me happy for a living??  Or the fact that I am still up in the air about what my purpose on this earth???  Why am I still alive????  Why have I been spared while those who’ve fought the good fight beside me have been slain on this battlefield??????

The world may never know…and I know I never will, even when I head to the upper room I will be content to just be granted entrance

No questions asked….

Oh well I still have poetry if nothing else…as I get drunk off my creativity and vomit ink onto paper and publish it as art….

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